How Old Is Your Baby?

I hate hearing the conversation between two women discussing a baby. One will begin the exchange by commenting on how cute the little guy or girl is. Then the inevitable question is presented: How old is he/she? This is where it all falls apart. The ridiculous mother then proceeds to answer with her child's age counted not in years or even in half years, but months. Months?! How old is your baby? 27 months! Ok, where do you draw the line and decide that the kid is too old for his/her age to be measured in months? I don't know about you, but if my child was 27 months old, I'd just say that he's two. End of story.

The next time I am asked about my age, I should reply, "243 months!" and see how well that goes over.

Hi-Tech Toilets

We've all experienced it - the surprise flush from a motion sensor public toilet that flushes far before we are ready, or even considering being done with our necessary visit. Whenever I am in contact with one of these lovely appliances, it flushes at least twice -maybe three times- without my prior consent, thus making me look like I have a serious bladder or rectal issue at hand. Even Tyson Ritter is afraid of these things, claiming that the power behind one of these toilets could such a fetus out of the womb. What happened to just the standard handle? Maybe even a button to push when we feel necessary.